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Writer's pictureAlessandra Patti

The "not good enough" syndrome and how to solve it in a simple way

I have been living in Switzerland for what will soon be a decade. I have gone though coaching, I'm a coach myself, I got therapy in the past, and yet this feeling which is intrinsic to this country culture (and probably other cultures too.. but I can just speak from my experience) still has a hold on me sometimes.. It is what I call "The not good enough syndrome" and each one living here has sooner or later experimented it. Symptoms: whatever you do in many different areas of your life is never enough, and even if your level of expertise in those areas is very very high.. well you could always do it better right? Perfection at the highest level and planning. I understand it, this is why I live here, this is why things work. But PEOPLE. People are part of the country and make it great, but people are still people. And we are not perfect.. yes bad news unfortunately!

We put so much pressure on ourselves, that sometimes I miss the times when my mother used to tell me "Bravo! you got a 10 in English! I'm so proud of you" and I would celebrate for an entire week... Now the pressure on status is so high, that a good achievement needs to be followed by another achievement, a language level can be overcome only by a higher level, a skill you have is nothing if not trained. You know what I think sometimes? And this has nothing to do with bragging or being not objective, but it is a reality: sometimes IT IS INDEED GOOD ENOUGH. Because the measurement level is you, because sometimes you have done it very nicely and have received good feedback from the people you like or love, and sometimes it is just enough. A good exercise for this is the following, especially if you are going through a period of changes:

1) Celebrate as soon as the accomplishment is there. Are you celebrating because someone important to you told you "thank you! or you are awesome? Great! this is the way to go forward.

2) Write down your weekly accomplishment, on a piece of paper or your diary. You will visualize them. They are real!

3) Celebrate again. And also because of other people's achievements. And because it is simple. Simplicity is so underestimated...

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